4 Months Travelling: Highlights, Low Points and Reflections of a Backpacking Adventure

Introduction

In early April 2023, after leaving our jobs and moving out of our flat, my girlfriend Lydia and I embarked on a 4-month backpacking trip. Planning as we went, we ended up visiting 9 countries: South Korea, Japan, Fiji, Australia, Vietnam, Cambodia, Thailand, Indonesia and Malaysia. We documented the trip on our Instagram page, but this post will shed some light on my favourite bits, the low points and a reflection on what I learnt about myself along the way.

Our route.

Background

I've done my fair share of backpacking over the last 8 years. I've done trips around Europe, South East Asia and South America, and like to think I know my way around the hostel life. However, before this trip, I'd only ever gone travelling with someone else once before, for my first taste of backpacking in 2015 with a friend from uni. This was also Lydia's first time backpacking, and as anyone who's been backpacking will know, it's not a holiday. Things regularly go wrong, you have to be flexible with your plans, worry about mundane things like budgets, laundry and not catching malaria, and get used to being without your home comforts, friends and family for an extended period. Whilst this uncertainty isn't attractive to everyone, it is a valuable lesson in embracing the unknown and building confidence in knowing that whatever happens, it will probably be alright. Travelling is a beautiful but daunting freedom. I'm grateful to have the means (and a passport!) that allow me to do it.

Best Bits

Tropical Paradise

My favourite place was Fiji. It's so remote, beautiful and has a unique, friendly and vibrant culture (where else would airline staff sing you a song on arrival?!) We spent a week in two resorts on the golden beaches of the Yasawa Islands, nestled in thick jungle and surrounded by the turquoise ocean and vibrant coral. Our days were spent lazing around in hammocks, swimming, snorkelling and paddle-boarding in the sea, eating our meals in the resort restaurants, playing volleyball, watching the sun set and stargazing at the clear night sky. We enjoyed the activities that the resorts offered, such as sunset tubing, learning about coconuts and visiting nearby caves. It's so far from home that we would never go there on holiday, so I'm grateful that we ticked off one of Lydia's bucket list items and took the opportunity!

My new happy place (Yasawa Islands, Fiji)

Learning to Dive

I'd never dreamed of scuba diving before this trip, but over the last couple of years, I've made a conscious effort to push myself to do things that scare me. After getting to grips with snorkelling (which I'd never done before either!), and with Lydia's encouragement, I did an intro dive in our first resort in Fiji. I found it scary but exhilarating. The first breath underwater was incredible and despite spending most of the time either floating up to the surface or sinking to the ocean floor, I was keen to do more.

I then did my Open Water certification and 6 dives in Phuket, Thailand, and 7 more dives in Indonesia. I saw some incredible marine life: schools of fish, reef sharks, turtles, squid, octopus and the highlight, manta rays. I also dived the USAT Liberty, an American cruise liner used as a transport that was torpedoed by the Japanese in WW2. Diving has opened up a new world to me, and I'm grateful that I conquered my fears and gave it a go. Once you get the hang of buoyancy control, the sensation of weightlessness underwater is a beautiful and meditative experience. I've now got plans to do my advanced course, and to do a couple of diving holidays.

Diving with manta rays off Nusa Penida, Indonesia

Fancy Dress Go Karting on the Streets of Osaka

This was my favourite activity, and something I've wanted to do since my last trip to Japan in 2017. It was one of those experiences where the whole time I had a huge grin on my face and I was thinking "I can't believe I'm doing this". We were driving in traffic, around the centre of Osaka and hitting speeds of around 40mph on the main roads. I didn't envy our guide, whose navigation, coordination and photography skills made it what it was. We'd originally planned on doing it in Tokyo, but when we arrived in Japan we realised that advanced planning for tours was more essential than we thought. Luckily they still offer it in Osaka, and despite it being rained off on the day we booked, we postponed our train to Hiroshima and went back the next day. There was a range of costumes to choose from, and we chose Winnie-the-Pooh and Pikachu. The locals loved it, and we had plenty of waves and laughs as we weaved our way through the streets.

I didn't see that episode of Winnie-the-Pooh... (Osaka, Japan)

History and Wildlife

We tried to learn as much as we could about the countries and cultures we visited. We went to museums on everything from local history and war, to festivals, food and even ghosts. We did tours of demilitarised zones, old military bases, ancient temples, spice gardens and a millennia-old rainforest, and visited sites of torture and mass genocide in Cambodia and Thailand. We particularly enjoyed the Australian wildlife. We saw koalas, crocodiles, cassowaries, emus, wallabies, kangaroos, migrating humpback whales and even dolphins coming in on the surf.

Making friends with the locals at Lone Pine Koala Sanctuary (Brisbane, Australia)

Learning about events that shape a country and culture from their point of view always changes my perception of those events, and is often different to how they are presented at home. I love fitting that new information on world history into what I already know. It's also interesting to see how people in that country live, and how their lives differ from ours.

Cooking Classes (and Food)

Eating the local food was a big part of our trip. We found cooking classes a great way to learn about a country's cuisine and the cultural elements of their food. We did them together in Vietnam, Bali and Malaysia, and Lydia did one in Thailand whilst I was diving.

Our Vietnamese cooking class in Hoi An was an experience. It involved a trip to the morning market (Vietnam's food safety standards leave a lot to be desired) and a crazy round-bottomed boat ride (hot, sweaty and accompanied by full-volume house music). We then cooked and ate 4 excellent dishes including some Vietnamese staples: pork and shrimp summer rolls, papaya beef noodle salad, banh xeo (a rice pancake and one of Lydia's favourites) and beef pho. I even did my first flambe!

The Balinese one was food-wise the worst, but an interesting cultural experience. We did it in a wet Ubud, and after a 45-minute drive to go about 10 miles (typical for Bali), we arrived at a traditional Balinese family home with the cooking school upstairs in their main building. The 8 courses all merged into one. Balinese food uses a lot of sweet soy sauce and our chef was quite liberal when adding it to our dishes. The food was also then all combined and we ate it buffet style, which made seasoning our own food pointless. The highlight was the dessert we made called klepon, which are steamed pandan rice balls with palm sugar inside.

Our Malaysian cooking class was the pick of the bunch. We did it in Penang's Tropical Spice Garden and had a fascinating tour of that beforehand. We then made beef rendang, an okra salad and pandan rolls. It was exceptionally tasty and we ate it family style, which rounded off the whole experience.

The delicious results of a Malaysian cooking class (Penang, Malaysia)

Our culinary experiences probably deserve their own blog post, but our highlight was a Hida beef dish that we had in Takayama, Japan. Hida beef comes from a specific breed of Japanese black cattle (writing this, I learnt that 'wagyu' literally means Japanese cow). After trying it at a street food market, we treated ourselves to a lunchtime donburi at a pretty fancy restaurant. It was incredible, and easily the best meal we ate all trip. It was buttery, succulent and melted in the mouth, and we savoured every mouthful. Interestingly, it doesn't seem to be widely available even in Japan!

Hida beef donburi (Takayama, Japan)

Sharing the Experience

Lydia and I did so many incredible things together (I have another draft blog post that I decided was too long!). Spending almost every waking moment together was intense at times, but it has strengthened our relationship. We were there to support each other through the lows, and even the mundane things like sitting in the airport, doing laundry and finding places to eat were made better by having someone to share them with. We'll always have those experiences to look back on, when it was just us with no commitments other than to see the world.

Sharing one of many sunsets (Gili Trawangan, Indonesia)

Worst Bits

Food Poisoning

We visited mostly developed countries in the first 8 weeks of the trip: South Korea, Japan, Fiji and Australia. However, once we hit Southeast Asia, every meal became a gamble. I had two bouts of food poisoning. One in Vietnam from (I suspect) fish, where I had a fever for a day and diarrhoea for about a week. That was eventually cleared up by a cascade of cheap pills from a Hanoi pharmacy. The second one was near the end of our time in Bali, where I succumbed to the notorious 'Bali belly'. I won't go into the graphic details of it, but it involves the worst taxi ride of my life, a high fever and bodily expulsion, being put on an IV during a honeymoon spa package, a £400 hospital bill and about a week of eating nothing but plain rice. Not ideal!

Bumpy Boats and Turbulent Planes

I never used to get motion sickness, but we had two very choppy boat rides in Australia and Indonesia where I was having a bad time. The worst one was when were crossing the Lombok Strait from Gili T back to Bali. The Lombok Strait is the deepest strait in the world and is notorious for rough conditions. The boats had been cancelled for the 3 days previously due to high waves, meaning we'd spent an extra night on the island already. Before getting the boat, we first had to negotiate a very busy port and the backlog of other travellers. Gili T has a single jetty about 3 metres wide that goes out to a concrete dock. It was packed and it took us a good hour and a half of shuffling through the crowds to make the 20-metre trip to the end. Almost all the boats that do the journey are 'fastboats', which do the trip in about a third of the time because they're essentially speedboats. We had a calm first 20 minutes or so, but once we hit the strait it got very rough. We had waves crashing into the windows on our side above head height, which was terrifying. We made it in the end, but it's fair to say we won't be doing that trip again anytime soon.

A very busy and sweaty jetty (Gili Trawangan, Indonesia)

We had a few turbulent flights. But the worst one was from Jakarta, Indonesia to KL, Malaysia on Batik Air (a Malaysian/Indonesian budget airline). Let's just say the pilot was taking the term 'descent' a bit too literally. That feeling when your stomach drops is all fun and games on a rollercoaster, but not in a little metal box in the sky!

Travel Fatigue

Four months away from home, only spending a few nights in each place, took its toll on us both mentally and physically. By the end of the trip, we were ready to come home. We started to miss our home comforts, in surroundings that you know well enough to fully relax. I found it hard to escape the feeling that I should be doing something every day because I was in a new and undiscovered place. Eating out for every meal also got old, and I was keen to cook and eat my own meals, especially after Bali belly. That being said, the pros still outweigh the cons, and we have plans for another similar length trip in the future.

Deep Bits

Overcoming Anxiety

The unknown has always made me anxious. I get scared about new places, people and situations, but I know that once I'm used to them the anxiety will pass. At home, it's easier to escape to a safe and comfortable space. That safety is hard to find when travelling. As is typical of backpackers, my previous trips have involved their fair share of heavy drinking. I've realised that the alcohol numbed those anxious thoughts and feelings and made it easier for me to make friends, plans and deal with difficult situations.

This trip was different in that I barely drank due to an ongoing stomach issue. I had to rely on courage, acceptance and Lydia to get me through those anxious moments. I feel much better off for it, I feel like it was me who conquered all those things, rather than a drunken spectre of my true personality. It's shown me that I do have the confidence and the ability to push myself to do new things, and whilst I still get those anxious flutterings in my chest, they don't have to hold me back.

The biggest example of this was going from being too scared to go out on the snorkel boats to see manta rays in Fiji, to scuba diving with them in Indonesia. In our first resort in Fiji, they blow a conch if they've been sighted and all the guests grab snorkel gear and run to the boats. I knew I wanted to do it, but fear held me back. I then felt the sinking regret of not being brave enough to push through that barrier. To go from that feeling to the elation of diving with them in Indonesia, having learnt to dive and dealt with lots of new people and situations along the way, is an achievement that will stay with me for a long time.

Acceptance

As I wrote in the introduction, when you're travelling for an extended length of time things are bound to go wrong. Being able to accept what I can't control is one of the key things that backpacking has taught me. Getting upset, angry or disappointed when something doesn't go to plan is natural, the important thing is what you do afterwards. Going through difficult experiences is a way of developing those skills (Stoic philosophy calls this 'voluntary hardship'.) You never know what you're capable of until you push yourself.

I also had to accept that we couldn't have the perfect trip. This meant getting over the fear of missing things, blowing through our budget and spending too long or too little in places. As we were planning our next stops about 2 weeks in advance, we were making decisions on where to go based on cost, reviews and what we wanted to do when we were there. Looking back, I'm proud of what we were able to do, but also how we adapted when things went wrong.

Travelling Solo vs Travelling as a Couple

I love solo backpacking. My first solo trip to Southeast Asia in 2016 had a huge impact on who and where I am today. It gave me a lot of confidence and developed my ability to overcome fear and anxiety as I've mentioned above. There is also something beautiful about being able to recreate yourself when meeting new people at every stop along the journey, and having full autonomy as to what you do and where you go. I've met some incredible people and made friends for life whilst travelling solo, but there have equally been some lonely and difficult moments that I've had to deal with on my own.

A younger, fresh-faced me on my first solo trip in 2016 (Muang Ngoy, Laos)

Travelling as a couple is very different, you've got someone with you who you (hopefully) get on with and who knows you deeply. But you've also got to take their needs and wants into account when deciding what to do and where to go. There isn't the need to meet new people as there is when you're travelling solo. On this trip, it took me a while to get over the drive to talk to new people and the feeling that I'd failed if I hadn't conquered my fears to strike up a conversation with someone new. As I've mentioned above, I loved sharing the journey with Lydia. I'm glad I had those experiences travelling alone, but I'm also happy to leave that part of my life behind. I've realised that as I'm getting older I'm becoming less keen on the hostel lifestyle of constant boozing and sharing a room with strangers. I'm enjoying the stability of a relationship, a routine and sharing my life with people I love. Our trip acted as a good life barometer, and I'm looking forward to whatever comes next!

Stats

Our trip in numbers:

• 112 days (16 weeks)
• 9 countries
• 40 hotels/hostels
• 22 airports
• 20 flights
• 9 trains
• 6 boats
• 3 hired scooters
• 2 hire cars
• 19 books (just me, Lydia read a few too!)
• 16 SIM cards
• 13 scuba dives
• 5 haircuts (I enjoyed finding good spots to get a trim.)
• 4 cooking classes
• 2 bouts of food poisoning
• 1 moustache

And countless taxis, tours, museums, naps, restaurants, wildlife, selfies and 1.5l bottles of water.